


spewed network

by dicaeopolis



Series: SASO 2017 [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, Youtuber AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 10:35:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11034417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dicaeopolis/pseuds/dicaeopolis
Summary: It's been a long time since Bokuto and Yukie first started their food Youtube channel together.





	spewed network

**Author's Note:**

> HEY KIDS. IM HERDING TEENS AROUND IN THE WOODS ALL SUMMER BUT I'LL PROBS BE POSTING A BUNCH OF SASO FILLS IN A SERIES. HERE'S THE FIRST ONE

The fuzzy video was shaking as the cameraperson jiggled in excitement, the audio was tinny through the microphone of the mid-2000s video camera, and the backdrop was the cramped, messy kitchen of a Tokyo apartment. But the grin on the face of the splotchy-haired middle schooler was bright enough to blind as he announced, “I'm Bokuto Koutarou-”

“And I’m Shirofuku Yukie-” added a girl's voice behind the camera-

“-and today, we're going to be doing the Cinnamon Challenge!”

“And Bokuto’s going first,” Yukie’s disembodied voice announced. “Cause he sucks at rock-paper-scissors.”

“I do not!” Bokuto protested. “You cheat!”

“Strategy isn't cheating!” The camera wobbled dangerously. “You've just used rock every time we've played since we were four!”

_ “Whatever!” _ Bokuto pouted for a moment, and then moved on to the spoon and the spice jar on the countertop. “Okay, here goes!”

“Be caref-”

Yukie’s warning went unheeded as Bokuto dumped the entire heaping spoonful of cinnamon down his gullet.

His shriek probably could've been heard in Hokkaido. The camera dropped to table height as a copper-haired girl rushed out from behind it to grab a glass from the cupboard, fill it hurriedly with water from the tap, and shove it at Bokuto, who had fallen to the floor and was coughing violently. He managed to gulp down a few mouthfuls, and the rest of the cinnamon with it, leaving no trace of the ordeal save for the shine of tears in his eyes and a light dusting of cinnamon around his mouth.

Once she was sure her friend was okay, Yukie sat back on her heels and declared, “You really sucked at that.”

Bokuto sulked at her. “I'd like to see you do better!”

_ “Fine.” _ And Yukie picked up the spoon and the jar from the floor, scooped out another spoonful of cinnamon, and shoveled it into her mouth, all without breaking eye contact with Bokuto. Her throat bobbed a few times, and then she opened her mouth to show the cinnamon gone.

Bokuto gaped at her.  _ “Hey _ \- wait, you must've - okay, but your eyes are watering - wait, hang on, why are you making that face-”

_ ACHOO! _

The two kids were obscured by a cloud of reddish-brown dust for a moment. When it cleared, the grainy footage showed Yukie with a dribble of brown-tinted snot hanging from her nose, staring in shell-shock at Bokuto. Bokuto was staring back, eyes huge in a face that was dusted entirely in cinnamon - along with the white portions of his hair, his white t-shirt, and the entirety of the kitchen.

As if on cue, the pair opened their mouths and began to shriek, “aaaaaAAAAAAAH-”

_ Click. _

The camera faded into a high-quality image of two teenagers - older, less acne-ridden, but still unmistakably the duo from the video - sitting next to each other in a well-lit dining room.

“Ah, we were so young,” sighed Yukie, staring fondly at the screen, where the YouTube page read,  _ Posted 5 Years Ago _ . Her voice was clear and smooth over the microphone.

Bokuto nudged her. “You still cheat at rock-paper-scissors.”

Yukie elbowed him back, harder. “You still haven't used anything but rock.”

“I'm  _ saving _ it,” Bokuto insisted. He planted his hands on his hips, not-so-accidentally jostling Yukie with his elbow in the process. “For when you'll least expect it.”

Yukie rolled her eyes. “You're going to die before you ever can convince yourself it's time.” She turned her sharp gaze back on the camera. “Right, so. As thanks for one million subscribers, and for the fifth anniversary of our first video together, we asked you guys for suggestions on what gastronomical disaster we should eat next.”

“And if by ‘gastronomical disaster’ she means weird food,” Bokuto continued, “then you guys gave us-” he reached out of the frame, and brought back a massive hunk of chocolate, big as a loaf of bread- “the  _ perfect _ idea.”

“The Snickers Snickers,” Yukie explained, caressing the top of the loaf like it was something holy. “A Snickers bar made of twenty-eight other Snickers bars.”

“And caramel,” Bokuto added. “And peanuts. And nugget.”

“Nougat,” Yukie told him.

“Hornet?”

_ “No-” _

_ “Anyway, _ we're going to be eating this in the usual way. Start at the ends, and whoever gets to the middle first picks the next week's gastrology.”

“And as always,” Yukie chimed in, “if nobody throws up by the end of the video-”

“-then it's not the Spewed Network,” the pair of them finished in unison.

"Cheers,” Yukie added as an aside to her friend, as they each picked up one end of the Snickers bar, opened their jaws wide, and dug in.


End file.
